Finding True Love After Married At First Sight: Reclaiming Happiness

I'm happy you are here, friend. From my past with Married At First Sight, here’s how I navigated from pain to a fulfilling relationship:

Acknowledge My Pain

The first step in healing is to acknowledge the hurt. When someone tried to sabotage my future and happiness, it’s essential to recognize the emotional toll it has taken. I did journaling, therapy, and talking to friends to help process my feelings. I was in avoidance and denial for a long time, which was how I handled problems in the past, so validating then accepting my experience was crucial.

Setting Boundaries

After toxic relationships, I re-defined what I wanted and what I do not want in a partner. For example, I put up a new boundary to not date alcohol drinkers or smokers. These boundaries helped me protect my emotional well-being. Clear boundaries helped me attract healthier connections and lifestyles.

Rediscovering Myself

I took time to rediscover who I am outside of relationships. I realized I loved hiking but dated people who don’t like to hike. I loved nature but dated men who wanted to watch 8 hours of football. My journey of self-discovery enhanced my self-esteem and clarified what I truly want in a partner. I realized I was conforming myself into what my partner liked and wanted, instead of honoring what I loved the most. 

Learning from the Past

I believe that every experience, even the painful ones, offers lessons. I had to do inner reflection on what went wrong and how I played a part in the wrong things that happened in previous relationships to figure out what I could do differently moving forward.

This reflection was very hard for me at first, because I realized the image and opinion I had of myself was false. I had a lot of untrue thoughts in my head and I was creating fake scenarios in my head that would never happen in real life. I had to get through my own self-deception, including the lies we tell ourselves. For example, my drivers license says I’m 5’2 but I’m really 5’1. I was just insecure about my height. I also do this with my weight. 

Trust Our Instincts

We are all born with something called “instincts.” Instincts are like inborn, God-given impulses or motivation to take action. Instincts are what have kept us alive. When we meet someone new, trust our instincts. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to address it. Healthy relationships thrive on open communication and mutual respect, not shutting down or stonewalling. I learned to address red flags early on, rather then ignoring them out of hope or fear, because if we sweep them under the rug, we trip and fall over.